Overall, there's plenty of interesting stories being told and beliefs being explored. These essays can still be strengthened, though, by doing the following:
- This I Believe essays are really less about something you believe and more about something you believe in. There is a difference between believing that you have been a good friend to someone and beleiving in friendship. The second way of writing asks you to examine and explain your belief more than explaining your friendship. Another way of looking at this is that you need balance between the story in your essay and your exploration of your belief system. In most cases right now, the story predominates, and authors have said little about their belief beyond the fact that they hold it.
- Tell us more about the people (or places) involved. Other people figure very prominently in your essays, but we often don't learn any more about them than that they are your relative or friend. A few well-chosen descriptions can go a long way to letting readers understand someone's character or importance. Letting them speak in their own voices by incorporating dialogue is another way to achieve this.
- Find the interesting detail . Successful essay writing really does hinge on giving your readers details and insights that provide a payoff for the time readers invest in reading your writing. If all they get are general descriptions and cliches, they are not getting your best writing, and are less likely to feel they benefitted from reading your essay. Readers partially read to learn something they don't know, to gain insight into a different way of living or thinking, and to get a glimpse of other places, cultures, and events. don't ignore this need.
- Elminate as much text as you can. Redundant sentences, vague statements, generalities--these are all opportunities to remove text or combine sentences. Better to come in under the required word limit than to have a bloated essay that is tedious to read.
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